No, it's not because you have bad breath that your classes aren't crowded. It is cold comfort, but Latin and Greek are not the only subjects being squeezed by Micky Mouse subjects at GCSE level.

"Numbers taking languages at GCSE have gone into freefall. To take just one exam board: in 2002, the Assessment and Qualifications Alliance (AQA) had 73,000 candidates for GCSE French. By 2003, that number had declined to 55,000, and this year was down still further, to just 46,000." I quote from an article in the Guardian Education Weekly of 5th October.

It sounds all too much like a re-run of what happened to Latin when Oxford and Cambridge dropped it as an entrance requirement. The government has changed a modern language at Key Stage 4 from a 'requirement' to an 'entitlement' - in other words, you can drop it in the run up to GCSE. Now they are surprised that pupils are dropping their modern language in droves.

And the arguments are also all too familiar. The Guardian quotes an un-named Head: "Modern languages tend to be perceived both as irrelevant, as English is a global language, and academically difficult. With schools under league table pressure to get five GCSE passes at A*-C, many are pushing students into subjects that are considered to be easier."

If any Classics Departments have looked at Modern Language Departments as rivals rather than colleagues in the past, now is the moment to kiss your neighbourhood French teacher on both cheeks, and plan a joint charm offensive.

What about an inter-departmental school trip to the south of France? Stay in Arles. Visit the amphitheatre there and in Nimes; have a thrilling excursion to the Pont du Gard, where the French teacher can praise Napoleon's repairs and you can give the Romans the credit; see Vaison and Les Antiques (what? you don't know them? I didn't, and I was amazed). Visit the stunning Orange theatre. Do all the French things. Bring the Art teacher along to enthuse about Van Gogh, unless you want to do that yourself. The asylum he was in is so near Les Antiques, and of course you can find exactly where in Arles he painted that picture of the square with cafe and stars.

And don't forget, together, to make the point that both Latin and French are examples of the hard work needed to achieve solid satisfaction, and, yes, pleasure of the lasting kind.

P.S. Remind me to post some of my pictures from these places.